ah i have decided to post. cos i realised how dead my blog is.
School has reopened for the 1st week and we had weilao today. Basically it was ok, with all the seniors(((: I missed them loads. HAHA.
Today after huahui, I became super emotional. I talked to Sheila, and I waited all alone in the canteen for yuens and jacq for around 45 minutes. I realised I was afraid of being alone. Very afraid. Just eing alonein the canteen with no one to talk to.
I shall just say it out here then. I admit, I really wished to be a lishi, in that case, I wouldn't feel so left out. I know tension lishis are trying hard not to leave us out. But I just can't help feeling tis way. I realised my cheeks were we after Sheila left. I can't believe I cried. I don't want to push the blame to anyone, but I have to face a lot of stuff and I think I cannot take it anymore. I don't know how I can manage putting on that fake laugh and smile. Perhaps I don't want people to know that I am feeing down. I cant believe that I can even console people at this point of time.
Then Jacq, Kuanyu, Yuens and me went for dinner together. I was feeling kinda depressed as I realised once again, Im pretty left out. It was all on my own part. I keep minding that they are lishis. I cant help it already. SORRY. After talking to them, I realised that there were miunderstandigs and I am glad that we manage to clear them up. At least I grew up. I'm no longer the stupid and childish and immature person. I've grown up to deal with thngs in a more matured manner.((:
As I walked home alone, which was super dark, I tried to call someone, but apparently that person wasn't free. Sorry if I'm bugging you too much. But I smsed HH and Sheila. Thank you Sheila my apple crumble((: Tension brightens up my day.
I'm sorry if I made anyone unhappy in writing this post. I don;t want any misunderstandings, but I just need some more time to adapt to the change.
I have a lot to pour out. A lot. Throughout this month, you have been very significant in my daily life. Was it you or me? I don't know. And i don't want to know. Just let this friendship continue as it is. I am confused enough already. I'm sorry if you are finding me irritating, because I realised you are getting impt to me.

It's been ages since i blogged. HAHA.
i watched pirates alrd, and then SLC was a BOMB! I knew many ppl and it was a really cool experience. HATHOR IS <3!hees(:
FACS outing was really great and i loved nat's tricks(: i tried cyling on he double bike and it was pretty cool(:
Yesterday had sleepover at jacq's hse and e watch KAL HO NAA HO! do how to spell...BUT IT WAS DAMN NICE(: hahas. and we watched gui ah gui ah! though it was crappy, but it' pretty nice(: hees! it was a god laugh, but now i got fever... so cant go for facs outing:(
ah wells, shall rest well at home(: